Hey everybody!!
I am typing from the Las Vegas International Airport. I was in Las Vegas since Sunday.
We rented a big car and left Korea town around 10am. We drove and stopped at Primm. I got a burrito and played a slot machine. I won $3 and had to get a printed ticket. So i cashed it in and the lady wanted an ID so i had to go to the rental car to get my fing passport cause i left my eye-d in San Francisco at the show i was in. So i was mad at her and then she said "oh you didn't pay for that donut" cause I was heading to the door with it. I coudl have almost been arrested for stealing. so i got mad at her again and slung it on the counter .. when i got back to claim my three dollars that I was rightfully owed, she said she had to throw away the donut cause i put it i n an ashtray. then i alughed, cause it didn't look like an ashtray.

then we got to the palms and met up with mike and bridget and played slots and did las vegas things like eat and stare at trampy girls and guys with tatoos that wrapped around their arms. The swimming hole at the PALMS was retched. It was fully of people smearing oil all over their freshly worked out muscles and making sure everyone saw them smearing it on. One girl came up to a guy with a 6-pack and said WOW YOU LOOK SO GOOD. and then he said something about how he worked out a bunch. bridget and i sat outside for like 15 minutes and decided we had had enough.

i think i lost a fair amount of money. i dont want to think about it. i am not going back for a long time since i have other things to do in the immediate future that aren't around las vegas

we ate at nice restaurants and had a nice time. i am glad it is over though. i am going to fast and not eat for a while and make myself trim. i've had enough of thinking fast food is funny and eating junk food.

our favorite people from sunday-tuesday are in random order
1: copper top: she walked along side us while we rode in the "deuce" bus from the klondike to ballys.
2: buff dude couple at Casino Royale : they were really built and sat 2 inches from each othe rplaying free credits from a promotion at the players center
3: taurus: i had a bonus on a slot machine at the palms and i needed to pick a sign of the zodiac on the screen. some girl walked by and i asked her what her sign was. she said "taurus" really loud and clearly. there is nothign really funny about her.
4: OH! the rio woman. we were in line at harrah's waiting for a free ride to the rio which was closer to the palms .. this woman walked up really fast with a bottle of powerade. and i said "you look neverous" and then she saide "no i live here" .. she did other things that sort of prooved that she was mad at me for askinng her a random question even though i di nd't know her. but then she sat next to me on the bus shuttle.
5: loud cougher/snorter at the players gathering THAT I WON $250 in FREE SLOT PLAY AT. basicaly what happened was that they put a bunch of ticket stubs in a bucket and they called m y name. my brother took some pictures that i'll post later. they should be pretty exciting.
6: big hair was at mandalay bay before we didnt' go to the shark reef.
7: there was a woman in the elevator i asked if she wanted to split a ride to the airport with. but we saw that she had 12 pushed on the elevator so my brother asked if she was goign to floor twelve adn she said no then got off at floor twelve
8: oh. we asked one of our cab drivers where his wife worked and he said he dind't know cause she lived in a different city. it sounds too quirky but i think he was serious
9: to be continued when i get more power in my computer.

omgX2
today some stuff happened (mostly involving blanche)
ben said blanche is acting weird: being skinnny and having missing hair on the back of her near her tail SO i took her to the dr. on echo park blvd. the main dr. there is old, crazy, and deaf. he took a blood sample from blanche, gave her a flea dip, gave her a shot of flea medicine, and then charged me a ridiculous amount for special cat food. also some pills.. while she was getting her hair done, i went and mailed stuff at the post office, cashed my check from my degenerate store in NYC that pays whenever they want, and had a subway sandwich. when i picked her up she was being blown dry in a cage. she was standing there in the wind with a mean look on her face. i took her home, went to my parents hotel in santa monica and went swimming. we also played scrabble and i won by 7 points. then we went and picked up their car and went to eat at a fine eatery in shoreline village in long beach. OH, i forgot to mention that the lady at the pet dr. was funny and said that the last time she was in las vegas, she stayed at Circus Circus Hotel and Casino. A man threw up in the pool while she was swimming. Also, this lady rolled her eyes when her assistant said things because they were ridiculous. Also, she sang a chunk of the Halelejuia Chorus on the phone. She was fun and I hope she has a great Memorial Day.

Wednesday after working I drove to San Francisco, except that I got excessively tired around Modesto and had to get a $39 hotel room overlooking the Denny's. I was hungry. I went to two restaurants that had lights on but doors shut. They didn't want anything to do with me.

The next morning I drove the rest of the way here. I ran out of gas so had to get some in Oakland. Everyone here talks or sings to themselves while just out doing things. So the first few times at the gas station i heard human noise, I thought they were talking to me but they were just singing. You know, with their car bouncing, stuffing money into their bras, and on the warpath ready to kill anybody at any time. So i got the hell out of there and drove to the sample sale. I wasn't really paying attention leaving the gas station adn i ran over what I thought was a piece of white poster board. BUT, it was actually a foam cooler. I looked up more and saw this group of tough black dudes getting out of their truck to get the cooler that had just fallen out. Too bad I ran it over and then started ramming on the gas to get over it cause it was stuck big time under my car. Then i heard apples getting crushed. I think there were chips under there too but once i saw them slamming the door to their VE-HICLE, i knew there was trouble.. so i reversed it and delodged it and sped off.. Then i got lost again and had to do a loop and eventually drove by the foam shrapnel that once was a cooler. It reminded me of 5 minutes before when I had ruined their lunch.

Then I drove to the sale and the gate was locked so I had to call and have somebody let me in. Turns out that the file that they had sent that said "VERY IMPORTANT" and "MUST READ" 1,000,000 times on it didn't actually have the right address on it. so i set up everything and then went and sat in grass and typed on my computer. An old lady walked by and said "DANG I DIDNT KNOW WE GOT INTERNET AROUND HERE." so i said "WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I AM ON THE INTERNET" and she said "YOU LOOK LIKE THE TYPE"

I went back at 5 and put tags on everything. ANNE GOT THERE at like 5:30 and we had fun. I saw her from a distance. She had vultures circling over her head. j/j

Our favorite people were definately crazy russian, hair dresser, shawny, pregnant, and the people serving midori's. crazy russian tried on pants backwards and only had 20 in cash for a 40 dollar item. SHE LOVES GREEN AND WHITE and isn't afriad to tell you that over and over and over and over and over. she was gone for a while and then came back. she is sending me a check for the other 20. she gave me her id to write down so i handed it to anne and i think she looked at it for 2 seconds. then i wrote down my address for russian to send me the check. Russian asked if i wrote down her address and i said yes even though i ddint' . I pretended anne did.
A girl bought a black jacket from me. Anne hired her as her full time hair cutter. she charges 20 and comes to your house. she suggested cuttting it shorter in the back and leaving longer on the sides. i think that is a bad idea.

we came back here and I was going to show her some jokes but she got tired cause she took a tylenol pm right after she dropped a glass can of crushed tomato and olive mix on her 2121-esque floor. there is a white baby grand piano across the room from the computer i am seated on. i told anne to exit-out when she was leaving and explained that significance (see link). I have to go pick up some cash now and then drive. send your fan mail to the regular address.

I looked up shrapnel because I thought i spelled it wrong or used it incorrectly. I was kind of close. I mean this definition: metal fragments from an explosive device

today on the way home i saw a bunch of things i wanted to remember. i think i remember two things.
one was a 14 year old mom who had her hand cocked ready to hit her son. he just stood there. i laughed then went to panda express.
OH. then i was at panda express adn i got a fortune cookie and it said "you will have full contentment by summer's end".. hopefully summer's end isn't some hippy lesbo's buns.

then i got home and mostly sat around. then i cleaned my office/work room. i still have to clean my bedroom and storage room. i am going to san francisco next week to visit anne and sell my wooden mustache items at an event that i think will be okay. i look forward to it and other things. my parents are coming on saturday. i need to find things to do with them that will be entertaining for me and andy and them. send suggestions to : /23$@#$al;jkdf;@aol.com

I started working for a costumer in Carson. It is a six week thing until I leave for Colorado. It is for two Shakespear plays that Joy Nash was in last year. Today I had lunch at Shakey's Pizza. It was a circus in there. There were people coming & going from every different possible direction, the napkins were gray, my spaghetti dripped off my plate and onto the table, i tried to eat it but it became permanently fixed to the table. Apparently the pasta was so dehydrated that it sucked the moisture right out of the faux wood veneering on the table. Then i went to get an ice cream at McDonalds and they were all out of chocolate dip so i got a regular. GET THIS: I forgot my bike was on the roof of my car when i went through the drive through. I didn't remember this until i got home. The clearing must have been high. I ate my ice cream cone on the way to the gas station. I got out to pump my unleaded and slammed the door and the door hit my arm and my icecream launched into my beardface. So i think my mug smelled like old dairy most of the day. I taped some stuff and cut some thread out of an old costume then came home and packed fabric into boxes for my ebay customers. Now I am listening to the radio and wishing my cat was on my lap.

I hate all the people that write me checks that bounce. I can't wait until I start hiking in Colorado, hand out business cards in Florida, and go to school in London. See you tomorrow everybody/nobody.

more

OH! We went to Joshua Tree then raced home to play bingo. We got there late and left early because we were tired. It was fun though. We did not win huge cash prizes but the usual collage of random bingo sounds kept us laughing for 2-3 hours. Also, there was finally an attendant in the parking lot booth labeled "assistance."

We also went to most of the places on the beach. It was full of great people. We were goign to play tennis but we left our rackets in the car on accident. Rebecca's bike seat was all messed up so this guy in a camper helped us fix it. He lived like 3 minutes away but he prefers to park his camper at the beach, use his remote controled race car, and repair bike seats. He stuck a clamp on the bike seat and then it was at a perfect height for peddling.

Rebecca was in town this weekend. She came to visit. We did many things including going to Joshua Tree.

Gas Station Decor (use as a wallpaper for your pc or mac)

brown note


As referenced in South Park, a low-pitched sound that can cause someone to crap their pants. May also be used to refer to any infrasound note that can create disorientation, nausea, etc.

I'm not so sure using the brown note on those protesters was a good idea. They're still rioting and now they smell like they need a diaper change.


a low octave sound above low E# that causes eratic bowel movements.

I heard the brown note and shit my pants.
tags a low octave sound above
by bread infection


A note that cuases an uncontroleble bowl movement. Said to be 2 octevs below middle c on the recorder. I play the french horn which in translation would be 5 notes bellow my low F.

I was practising dark adventures, when I dicesdid to experment with the brown note. Well I wound up with a bounch of tollet paper and soild my new boxers.

Yesterday on the way home from Las Vegas I think I ran over a baked potato on the 15. I did manage to stop at the Arby's to take a picture of my favorite bathroom in the whole world. I went in and got kind of nervous so I got a roast beef with cheese. While they were preparing my order, I took the photo.

Jadakiss]
Aha
Its dat real
Yo, why is Jadakiss as hard as it gets
Why is the industry designed to keep the artist in debt
And why them dudes ain't ridin' if they're part of your set
And why they never get it poppin' but they party to death
Yea, and why they gon give you life for a murder
Turn around only give you eight months for a burner, it's goin down
Why they sellin' niggas CD's for under a dime
If it's all love daddy why you come wit your nine?
Why my niggas ain't get that cake
Why is a brother up North better than Jordan
That didn't get that break
Why you ain't stackin' instead of tryin' to be fly
Why is rattin' at an all time high
Why are you even alive
Why they kill Tupac n' Chris
Why at the bar you ain't take straight shots instead of poppin Cris'
Why them bullets have to hit that door
Why did Kobe have to hit that raw
Why he kiss that whore
Why

[Chorus: Anthony Hamilton]
All that Ive been givin'
Is this pain that I've been living
They got me in the system
So why they gotta do me like that
Try'd to make it my way
But got sent on up the highway
Why, oh why
Why they gotta do me like that

[Jadakiss]
Why do niggas push pounds and powder
Why did bush knock down the towers
Why you around them cowards
Why Aaliyah have to take that flight
Why my nigga D ain't pull out his Ferrari
Why he take that bike
Why they gotta open your package and read your mail
Why they stop lettin' niggas get degrees in jail
Why you gotta do eighty-five percent of your time
And why do niggas lie in eighty-five percent of they rhymes
Why a nigga always want what he can't have
Why I can't come through in the pecan Jag
Why did crack have to hit so hard
Even though it's almost over
Why niggas can't get no jobs
Why they come up wit the witness protection
Why they let the terminator win the election
Come on, pay attention
Why sell in the stores what you can sell in the streets
Why I say the hottest shit but be sellin' the least

[Chorus: Anthony Hamilton]
All that Ive been givin'
Is this pain that I've been living
They got me in the system
So why they gotta do me like that
Try'd to make it my way
But got sent on up the highway
Why, oh why
Why they gotta do me like that


[Jadakiss]
Uh, yea, yo
Why Halle have to let a white man pop her to get an Oscar
Why Denzel have to be crooked before he took it
Why they didn't make the CL6 wit a clutch
And if you don't smoke why the hell you reachin' for my dutch
Why rap, cause I need air time
Why be on the curb wit a "why lie need a beer" sign
Why all the young niggas is dyin'
Cause they moms at work, they pops is gone, they livin' wit iron
Why they ain't give us a cure for AIDS
Why my diesel have fiends in the spot on the floor for days
Why you screamin' like it's slug, it's only the hawk
Why my buzz in L.A. ain't like it is in New York
Why are you forcin' you to be hard
Why ain't you a thug by choice?
Why the whole world love my voice
Why try to tell 'em that it's the flow son
And you know why they made the new twenties
Cause I got all the old ones
That's why

[Chorus: Anthony Hamilton]
All that Ive been givin'
Is this pain that I've been living
They got me in the system
So why they gotta do me like that
Try'd to make it my way
But got sent on up the highway
Why, oh why

Andy's birthday is May 7. Joy and I made him a cake. It is a cake but instead of cake there is meatloaf and instead of frosting there is mashed potatoes.
This is what the inside is made otu of. I saw it on the tv at 24 hour fitness while i was on the bike.

my mom sent me these. i think they look good.

what do you call four mexicans in the middle of the ocean with cinder blocks tied to their feet?

cuatro cinco

if only it were true.

kfc and hallmark unite

I put a bike rack on my car. Joy helped me. She did most of the work. There is room for two bikes. AT one point, we used a calulatur to make the ends stick out of either end of "thule" equally.

oh. i got a taco bell cup with a code on it for like 1,000,000 dollars. you have to enter the code on the internet to see if you win. i was goign to give it to jessica but she didnt want to give htem her email. so i tried and it sucked cause it wouldnt accept my address.. you try it.

http://www.becomeelpresidente.com/home.php